Thus we weathered the storm. Many moons have passed since our entrance to this hospital of hospitals—although I doubt II our young Romeo Dick has seen such Moons when outing with our fair ladies of mercy.
Mat. Med. with our Shakespearean friend
Was our interesting encounter, although some of us have yet to make the so seldom said statement, that "our numbers are up".
Some may come, some may go, but we go on for ever. "Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the fiesh"—but really, we need no encour- agement from the Bible.
So we are meeting the world. Perhaps it is the hospital atmosphere of having reached the tape in third year, but we are more independent in our stroll, our broad- mindedness is more in evidence, and we are thoroughly enjoying the atmosphere of medical B.O.
Some of our learned colleagues sallied forth in the May vac. to return with black haunting beards cultivated off the coast of Tasmania. We are wondering whether the endocrine disturbance was caused by the healthy sea atmosphere or the alteration of the chemical environments of the cells themselves with the medicinal tincture of the non-stop Tasmanian hotels. Indeed a stimulus from the Tasmanian damsels may have excited such a growth.
One of our inquisitive friends was heard to ask B.G. about her health recently. "Not so good. I have a sore on my lip." "Looks like Herpes Labialis to me". "Don't be disgusting!" was the reply.
Heard in a clinic—"Those lumps on his abdo. stand out like dog's-er-tonsils." Now Betty B. didn't see what was so funny about this, so she made inquiries about it. "You take a look at a dog's tonsils," they said.
"I'm not going to go around looking at dog's tonsils," she told them, "I might get bitten."
"Tommy" M. modifies his nocturnal activities during the day to become the hospital's "human proctoscope".
John G. finds his stethescope works much better with the ear-pieces in his ears. The honorary thought so, too.
While girls are dodging spirochaetes, Hank is chasing preachers, And Bell is straining anal sphincters
To please his clinical teachers.
Sig R. shocked us by making an honest man of himself. We have seen the car and are really beginning to wonder whether there is a girl. As for Maxy, he is worried lest his twins should arrive at supps. time.
With no more ado let me say this now, The IVth year students think life a wow.
There are hard days ahead, Tears may be shed;
Diseases are rife, so I do you implore, Get off your tails you solo men four.
And Baldy take note, Joanna you, too, This going to "Claridge's" never will do.
So chaps at the Alfred, now turning that soil,
Wake up and start burning the midnight's fine oil.
Six months of the year have gone and everyone is saying that they really must start work some time—secretly horrified at the thought and with not the slightest inten- tion of doing anything.
Of course, we started off on the wrong foot. First, at the Children's; there we had eight weeks of glorious summer weather not to be neglected by those interested in sailing, golf and women, etc.; that is, in short, everybody. While this was going on half our number were still on Vac. and later on back at the Alfred, doing as much as we were.
Following the Children's came six weeks at the Women's, at the very mention of which even the strongest amongst us turn pale and feel slightly nauseated at the thought of Liquor A. and stale beer.
Tempered by an unaccountable loss of L3 each which was appropriated for no apparent reason. Although we really think it is a paltry commiseration for the Women's after having G ge the Urger there for six whole weeks—
And then, of course, there were several small suppers ably provided for by our mutual friend, our mentor, our guide — Mrs Dorgan — and presided over by Cl-ve,
alias Bertie, assisted by our friend from St. V.'s, Gor - - n R. Yes, the verses really were sung by K . . . . y C. and the chorus.
And we are being sent back there next Christmas, of all times; well, we can't lose another 3. . . .
Now back home at the Alfred, united with our wives and such amongst the Nursing Staff—telling everyone how hard we worked at the Children's and Women's.
Heard at the Women's by a Ward Sister
—"I don't know what this place is coming to; I saw one of my Nurses the other daY , coming from the direction of the students quarters at 6.45 a.m.—and she had to be on duty by 6.30 a.m.—they all seem to be so tired and listless on duty. . Ask C
C. . . . 1 W., Sister, or perhaps J . . . . n M.
For us, time, always valuable, is now e,Precious as the weeks hurry on towards September. Peter H. is the only one who has yet dared to wear a long white coat.
The indomitable E.C. is still an habitue of Phial Year. What will Speculum do for howlers when she graduates?* She recently added yet another disease to the medical dictionary—"Policeman's Knee".
Final Year was well represlented at the
.1:".11. "At Home" at the Dorchester on
April 26. G. J. St . . . . t and Gaby
• n escorted two arctic foxes.
is said to be allergic to Jaguars.
Although the function was socially and alcoholically a success it is rather a strain cin the benevolence of the Students' Club tc) bear a loss to the tune of £ 19. One Well-known honorary was unable to attend because of previous "solid" Anzac Day reunions. Another was able to attend in Spite of them!
Among those who are openly flaunting their engagements are Bill Walsh and Ken Leversha. Geoff W W. . . . y is not so blatant.
Dave Hodson is now obviously a father.
He has asked us in these columns to extend an invitation to all 6th year to be at "Max's"
on the day the results come out. Drinks on Dave. Alan Riseborough and Ceph. Day are also new fathers.
Snowy T. still has a hankering after schoolgirls, whereas Nellie W . . . . t .. . well, he went to a bodrding school! Phil C . . . n is suffering fr in the hysterical- phthisico-cholecysto-renal syndrome, pro- nounced incurable. Ferg's cupidity has begat a Bugatti but forg,.. (sorry) forgot, to tell him how to run However, it may be in running order d the post- finals pub crawl.
* Has Miss C. reform- d it are her colleagues merely forge 1? She has escaped Speculum this A'fred fifth year's, please note.—Ed.